CONVERSATION

   I finally was able to talk to myself. Yes to myself. I thought I would share some excerpts of my conversation to you.

Me:  (Frightened),Yes it is knocking the door. I am trying to open it. Alas why the door is not opening - door used to work fine, it used to open in a click.

Myself:  (Sarcastically),Ah you are not giving your efforts my dear brother.

Me: Hmm. That might be the case, (Pretending), I fear because I don't know who is knocking the door.

Myself: Do not kid around. He is not a stranger, You have been anticipating him since a long time. You know him. He has been a companion of yours who has no ambitions other destroying you.

Me: Come on, Don't talk foul, why would I wait for a person who is trying to destroy me.

Myself: (Smiling or rather laughing), You know what? you have not done your karma right, You are not doing what you want to do.

Me: To tell you, I do not want to do anything, I just want lie down, take rest, enjoy life. I do not want to take part in this so called race of life, I do not want to run, Let people win - (a sigh of relief) - let them call me a loser.

Myself: Oh dear, So you want to do all this, I mean do nothing but still in the morning you get up and start runnng, that is ridicuuuuuuuulllouuuuus.

Me: Smiling, Yeah it sounds same to me.

Myself: My dear friend I want to tell you something, please do not have desires - it leads to grief, destruction, devastation, suffocation.

Me: Oh see, who is trying to teach me. Please keep your teaching to yourself. (A long silence and eyes closed) I am trying to tell you the same that I am not able to teach myself.

Myself: (Grinning), Again like previous talks this is going nowhere. There seems to be no end, Go to Sleep you bloody. Lets see a new tomorrow.

जाम और कलम मे इक रिश्ता सा लगता है 

ए साकी तु मुझे इक फरिश्ता सा लगता है 

अब तो मेरे मेरे हाथ मे भी जाम है 

ए कलम मुझे तुझसे कुछ बाबस्ता सा लगता है 

FRIENDS ARE NECESSARY

            It has been a good long time since I wrote anything. There were urges to write but dont know what is there inside me that I was not writing, I mean I think at this moment why am I not writing. Today I cannot stop myself, my urges overtook my all laziness or indecisiveness or whatever you say and I am here writing something.

        One big thing I would like to tell is that I wrote it and gave the aforesaid title because I am short of friends near me. Now I was not able to take inside me, I needed some channel through which I can vent it out and I have always been saying literature is your best friend. 

      Quite an irony it is when you have friends living by your side and say to do this and not to do that then we do not feel good. Now I don't have anybody with me, I have all the freedom in the world to do anything without asking anybody but I dont want to do it.

     One of my friends that day asked me, you miss them dont you, I had no answer I just had a fake smile on my face, real tears in my eyes and strong thought in my mind that here you go man you can also miss people dont pretend to not do so. It is pretty easy to say Caravan moves on people get added it and some leave it but it becomes tougher when you realise that you cannot replace a person with another. 

  I do not want to do anything and just write, I feel this is the way to live it. I want to write about each moment happening to me, Although after people have eloped from my life and darkness has set in nothing much is happening. Please do not take it as a pessimistic writeup, I am a pretty big optimist and my friends know it but it is just that it happens to you sometimes. I just wanted to tell you that most of us have to face it and there will be times when void spaces will be there. Perhaps then it is the time to move on.